Life has an uncanny ability to leave loose ends dangling. The unresolved can show up anywhere—in our families, our careers, and our personal growth. It might be the tension with an in-law that no heartfelt conversation can fix, the rebellious teenager testing every boundary, or a career transition stretching far longer than anticipated.

The challenge isn’t just these situations themselves but the stories we tell ourselves about them. We think, If I were smarter, worked harder, or had better boundaries, surely I could solve this. But life doesn’t work like a checklist. Some problems can’t be solved—they evolve, linger, or simply require us to live with them.

Instead of fixating on resolution, what if we shifted our approach? Here’s how we can reframe the unresolved, using examples from everyday life that reveal a deeper leadership lesson.

1. The In-Law You Just Can’t Please

Consider the perennial tension with an in-law—a person who never misses a chance to critique your parenting, your career, or your life choices. You’ve tried direct conversations, subtle hints, and even stoic silence, but nothing seems to change.

The Shift: Stop seeking resolution and focus on boundaries. For instance, instead of aiming to “fix” the relationship, practice neutral responses that defuse tension. A simple, “That’s an interesting perspective,” can create emotional distance without escalation.

The Breakthrough: Reframe the relationship with curiosity. Ask them about their experiences, values, or childhood. By shifting the dynamic from adversarial to exploratory, you might uncover common ground—or at least neutralize their criticism by showing interest in their perspective.

2. Parenting Through a Teenager’s Phase

If you’ve ever lived with a teenager, you know it can feel like walking a tightrope. They push boundaries, seek independence, and test patience like it’s their job. This phase, which might last for years, challenges even the most seasoned parents.

The Shift: Let go of control and focus on consistency. Establish boundaries that respect their growing autonomy while reinforcing expectations. For example, instead of arguing over a curfew, say, “Let’s revisit this in a month if things go well.”

The Breakthrough: Introduce shared decision-making through a family council. Let your teenager participate in discussions about house rules or small decisions. This approach builds mutual respect and helps them feel heard, even as you maintain your role as the parent.

3. The Career Transition That Feels Endless

Career transitions are often romanticized as bold leaps, but the reality is usually slower and more uncertain. You’re trying to break into a new industry, launch a business, or climb to the next level, but progress feels painfully slow.

The Shift: Focus on micro-goals instead of obsessing over the final destination. Break your journey into smaller, measurable steps: networking with five professionals a month, completing a certification, or volunteering in your desired field.

The Breakthrough: Embrace the “liminal space”—the in-between state of becoming. Document your journey through journaling or blogging. Sharing your experiences can connect you with others, spark new opportunities, and keep your motivation alive.

4. The Parent Who Still Pushes Your Buttons

Even as an adult, family dynamics have a way of pulling us back into old patterns. Your mom might still know how to make a single comment that feels like stepping into a time machine back to your teenage years.

The Shift: Respond as your adult self, not the child they remember. Acknowledge their concerns without letting them sting. For instance: “I appreciate your advice, but this works for me now.”

The Breakthrough: Change the emotional script. Instead of reacting to criticism, try small acts of kindness—like sharing a positive memory or writing them a note of appreciation. Sometimes, this subtle shift can soften old tensions and create a more balanced dynamic.

The Bigger Picture: Reframing the Narrative

The real challenge with unresolved situations isn’t the situations themselves—it’s the story we create around them. We’ve been trained to expect that every problem has a solution, but some issues aren’t meant to be solved. They’re meant to teach us patience, resilience, and the art of letting go.

Here’s how to shift your perspective:

1. Accept Ambiguity: Understand that some problems are ongoing or cyclical.

2. Focus on Growth: Instead of asking, “How do I fix this?” ask, “What is this teaching me?”

3. Practice Self-Compassion: Let go of the pressure to solve everything.

Leadership in the Unresolved

These lessons go beyond personal life—they’re deeply relevant to leadership. In the workplace, unresolved tensions are everywhere: between team members, in long-term projects, or in the unpredictability of market forces. Great leaders don’t always resolve these challenges. Instead, they create space for growth, hold steady during uncertainty, and find peace in the process.

Take inspiration from the leader of a startup who faced constant rejection during a funding round. Instead of seeing each “no” as a failure, they reframed the journey as an opportunity to refine their pitch. Over time, this mindset led not only to better clarity but also to eventual success.

Thriving in the Unresolved

Some problems will never have neat conclusions. Instead of waiting for resolution, embrace the tension, learn from the process, and focus on what you can control.

Life isn’t about solving every problem. It’s about learning how to thrive in the midst of the unresolved. The reward isn’t closure but resilience—and that’s a lesson worth carrying forward in every part of life.