(and how not to be their next meal)

Every organization has them — leaders who shine so bright that no one else dares to glow. They consume ideas, take credit, silence dissent, and feed on the energy of those around them. Their presence is magnetic yet draining; their brilliance undeniable, but their shadow immense.

At first glance, they seem unstoppable. But look closer, and you’ll see a trail of exhausted teams, talented people quietly leaving, and a culture of silent compliance replacing once-spirited collaboration.

Why They Do It

These “consuming leaders” aren’t monsters; they are mirrors of insecurity.

They operate from fear disguised as control — the fear of being outshone, of losing power, of being irrelevant. When one’s identity is fused with their success story, any spark from another becomes a threat.

Some are scarred by past workplaces where only the loudest survived. Others were promoted for their individual excellence, not for their ability to build others.

In their world, sharing space feels like losing ground.

How to Identify Them

You’ll know them not by their titles, but by their effects:

• Meetings end with their words as the final gospel.
• Colleagues stop volunteering ideas.
• “I did” replaces “we did.”
• The smartest leave first; the loyal survive longest.
• Their teams perform well once, but rarely again — because fear kills renewal.

Watch how they react to dissent or brilliance. A true leader lifts others; a consuming one subtly diminishes them. Their compliments come wrapped in control — “You did well, but next time, check with me first.”

How Not to Become Like Them

The trap is real: power tastes sweet.

The antidote is humility — but not the performative kind. True humility is about creating space for others to breathe. It is realizing that leadership is not a spotlight but a stage light — it exists so others can be seen.

Here are quiet practices that inoculate against this hunger:

• Credit Audit: At the end of every project, ask yourself — “Who else deserves to be mentioned in this story?”
• The Empty Chair Rule: In every key meeting, imagine an invisible chair labeled “future leader.” Would they feel safe to speak here?
• Shadow Check: Invite a trusted peer to tell you — “What happens to people’s energy after your meetings?”
• Silence Practice: Intentionally stay quiet in a discussion and let others fill the void. You’ll be amazed at what emerges.

How to Perform Around Them

Leaving such leaders isn’t always an option. Sometimes, they sit at the top of the very mountain you wish to climb. So, the real mastery is to thrive without feeding their appetite.

Here are deeply effective strategies:

• Build Parallel Visibility. Instead of challenging them head-on, grow your reputation through ecosystems.
• Share knowledge cross-functionally. Be seen as someone who uplifts others, not competes with the top.
• Document Wisely. Keep records of contributions — not for defense, but for truth. Transparency, quietly maintained, often speaks louder than confrontation.
• Anchor to Purpose, Not Praise. If you’re working for impact, not applause, their consumption loses power over you. Detachment is your freedom.
• Master Indirect Influence. Shape ideas in conversations, not presentations. When they adopt your thought, don’t crave credit — watch it grow roots through the system. Real leaders care about the orchard, not the name on the seed.
• Nurture Your Tribe. Quietly build alliances with peers who believe in mutual growth. These networks become your emotional oxygen and your innovation safety net.

The goal is not to fight such leaders, but to outgrow their ecosystem — to build one of your own where others rise with you.

The Larger Lesson

Organizations that reward “consuming leaders” pay a silent tax — innovation slows, morale dips, and mediocrity creeps in. But those that celebrate leaders who create other leaders build legacies that outlive their founders.

True leadership is not about being the fire. It’s about being the spark that lets others burn bright.